As if ya'll didn't have enough reason to hate on the Saints, NOBODY does MNF like Da Who Dat Nation. On any given Sunday, Saints fans dress up like its Mardi Gras Day so you better believe, cher, we dial it up for Monday Night Football. Take a walk with Da Queen through the Mercedes-Benz Superdome and see how the most crazed, die-hard fans in the NFL do MNF Big Easy-style.
The party starts in Champions Square, the plaza outside the Gate C entrance to the Superdome opened in 2010 following our Superbowl Championship. Earlier this season, a Bears fan asked me for directions to it on the way to the Dome. First I had to explain the concept of "Championship" to him, which explains why he couldn't locate it. Champions Square opens at least 4 hours before kickoff, sometimes earlier. Some of the finest musicians in a city where even street corner performers are Grammy winners entertain fans while the Saints' cheerleaders, The Saintsations, dance on catwalks. Champions Square food vendors are from some of New Orleans' best restaurants, from world-famous char-broiled oysters from Dragos to Creole cuisine from the Praline Connection. How's that kielbaska in Soldier Field?
Raiders fans, with all due respect, the "Black Hole" looks like lost footage of the bar scene in Star Wars. At least ya'll try. By contrast, Fireman Ed is the BEST the Jets can do. And that Carny-style Pirate Ship in Raymond James Stadium--as Ocho says, "Child pa-lease!" Last time the Saints played there, Da Who Dat Nation TOOK it over. The Bucs' "Captain Morgan" mascot looks like he belongs on RuPaul's Drag Race, not an NFL field. Our Sir Saint could stomp like Ndamukong Suh. The wimpiest mascot in human history? Sir Purr. How proud you must be, Carolina.
So Qwest Field--enjoy your health-conscious Tofu Dogs while you hit a Seahawks game on the way to yoga. Saints fans feast on Jambalaya, Crawfish Pie, and fried alligator. Lambeau Field--savor that flat overpriced beer you'll be crying into after the Saints take you down in the NFCCG (after which we'll correct the spelling of your hamster cage of a stadium featuring its legendary Zoo full of Blind Zebras to "LambeaX." In the City that Care forgot (a.k.a. "Disney World for Alcoholics") Saints fans imbibe on Tabasco-seasoned Bloody Marys with pickled string beans to 190 Octane Frozen Daiquiris in two-foot-long plastic cups known as "Yard Dogs."
Sorry you slaves to the other 31 NFL franchises, but here's the hard truth: Da Who Dat Nation parties harder than you. Know this every game day: our food's better, our drink's are better, and we're having more fun than you are. And somehow, we get it done in a stadium that served as a shelter of last resort during the worst natural catastrophe in U.S. history (so keep your multi-billion dollar palace, Jerry Jones.) Most of all, our team is better, especially when we're playing at Dome. Da Who Dat Nation travels well, so we can bring the party to you. The way the Saints' Offense is playing these days, you'll need it.